Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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