two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Randomize
