Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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