I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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