chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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