I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
