this beer tastes like vomit already
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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