you would pick up someone in the library
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
