Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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