Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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