great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I've blown a few things in my day
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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