With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
