I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
