So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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