did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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