I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
