She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
