So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
