Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
this hospital has no fireball
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
