I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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