I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
