More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
