Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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