do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
