Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
