yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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