she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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