Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
