Hey man sorry I got all grabby
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
