she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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