google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Small penises have feelings too.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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