I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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