It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Randomize
