I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
