she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We had sex on a dog bed..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
