I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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