So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
