I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
