im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
