But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
