A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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