honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
