there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
