She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
"it" just moved
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
