I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
