summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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