That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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