I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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