how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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