this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
