I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
