I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish they made helmets for livers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she pinky promised me she was 18
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
