It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
