the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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