no. you can't hotbox the world.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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