This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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