Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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