with your own penis?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
