How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Say something about gay babies.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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