If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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