I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
