when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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