Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
