That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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