well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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