good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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