apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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